What older people celebrate
On June 25, JG and I celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary. I had started my job 6 weeks before, and in the typical getting-to-know you conversation in the office, it came out that JG and I had been married for almost 7 years. My co-workers never really succeeded in hiding their surprise, but I suppose it makes sense when they all thought I was, oh, 23.
But still, I kind of agreed. Seven years! It just seemed so … long. Not in a bad way, but really? Seven years?
Our anniversary fell on a Monday, so we decided to go out for dinner to celebrate on the Saturday before. That’s how we roll lately — dinner out, exchange cards, no gifts. So we dressed up, went to our favorite Asian fusion restaurant, scanned the menu for any changes, and promptly ordered our usual dishes: 3 sushi rolls to start, and then scallops for me and Thai paella for JG. I also ordered a ginger martini, and JG got whatever seasonal beer he fancied then. It was all comforting and normal. On some level, I felt a little guilty that we were doing something so typical, as if it weren’t special enough for the occasion, but I shook it off. Who cares? This is what we wanted, so that’s what we did. During the drive home, I thought aloud how being married for 7 years made me feel older than turning 30 in the coming year.
“I just feel like a 7th wedding anniversary is what older people celebrate,” I said. “Anyone can turn 30.”
JG replied, “We’re only 3 years away from our 10th anniversary.”
“Whoa.”
Talk about what older people celebrate. Holy crap.
On Monday, our actual anniversary, we gave each other cards and went on our separate ways in the evening. JG had a volleyball game, and I visited a friend to hold her newborn baby and bring dinner in the form of chicken tacos. While my friend and I caught up, she realized that it was my anniversary because JG and I share the date with her parents. She apologized for not remembering, and didn’t I want to spend the evening with JG? I shrugged. We had dinner out already, and that was fine. Commemorating the actual date seemed less important the longer we were married. Was that a bad sign? It just seemed so cliche that our anniversary celebrations have lost their luster over the years, with the exception of our 5-year-anniversary cruise. At this rate, it wouldn’t be long before we’d nod at each other as we ate dinner at the coffee table while watching the next episode of whatever television series we had on DVD. Right?
And yet, I can’t bring myself to care that much. I love being married to JG, and I love how with every year, we are ever closer to being on the same team all the time. Sure, we have our moments when our relationship causes friction (read: JG has a lot more moments because I am really hard to live with), but we’ve reached a nice, even equilibrium most of the time, and I love that. So it doesn’t matter to me that I spent my official anniversary bringing tacos to my friends and holding a little redheaded newborn while JG played volleyball. Seven years after we tied the knot, I feel like that kind of ease and freedom is what we’ve been after this whole time.
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What a sweet post. May you have many more years of mellow and just perfect anniversaries
Happy, Happy Anniversary!
(I also got married at 23 and we’re celebrating nine years next month. Seems so bizarre to be so close to 10 years.)
I think there’s something really wonderful and comforting about celebrating in a way that values the little things in life. Because, in my opinion, a solid marriage isn’t full of grand gestures, it’s being loving day in and day out and reveling in small, constant, only-between-you-two-traditions.
Congratulations!
I love this post, I love the relaxed celebration of being together, I love love LOVE that photo of you and JG, and I love the idea of being with someone and growing with someone. Swoon.
xox
Exactly. It should not feel wrong to feel right. Plus, seven years! That’s so awesome. Happy Anniversary!
Happy Belated Anniversary! My 5th anniversary is this Saturday and it does feel weird! We did kind of big things for our first 2 anniversaries, then for 3 and 4 we just went to dinner, didn’t buy presents. For the 5th anniversary, we are bringing back presents, but don’t have any huge plans. It is weird to think we are halfway to 10 years!
Happy anniversary! I know what you mean… weds is our third wedding anniversary, which doesn’t sound too old. But we got married on our 7-year anniversary of dating. So in two days, it will be TEN YEARS since our first date. We’re both having a little trouble coming to terms with the fact that we’re old enough to have been together for a freaking decade.
What a sweet post. We’re hitting seven years at the end of the summer!
7years! Congratulations! And you and JG sound like me and B-good to know there are more of us out there.
Happy Anniversary! My husband and I are coming up on seven years this August too, and as special and meaningful as it is, we will likely celebrate in a similar low-key, relaxed way. That is just how we roll, and honestly, simply being together is what means the most to us. I say do what makes you guys happy, and embrace it.
Also, can I just say how I relate to people being shocked at how long you’ve been married? I just turned 30 (but look much younger), and I’ve seen many a jaw drop when I share that info. Good to know I’m not alone!
Congrats! I like your view of appreciating your relationship all the time. We’re similar. We just had our one year legalversary (signed the paperwork, but our wedding wasn’t until December). We were both super busy that day, so we did dinner together the next night instead.
Plus, I think Asian fusion sounds like a great anniversary date.
Congratulations on your anniversary! I think it’s a good sign that it is more about the everyday gestures, being together and how love just… works! Heck, if my husband and I ever celebrated anything on the day of the event, that would just be a plain miracle! We also like to keep it simple and small. Really, it is nice just enjoying each other as you are.
Wishing you both many happy years to come!
What a lovely post – I am completely on the same page here. We do cards, dinner out, etc. We don’t typically exchange gifts for birthdays or Christmas much anymore, either. We consider things like the (BIG) trip we are currently taking to be our gifts to each other. The everyday is so important – milestones come and go, but if you have a steadfast partner by your side, the everyday is what you celebrate.
I love this post, and I can relate. Tim and I never really got around to “officially” celebrating our anniversary this year, but we toasted our 7 years together at a good friend’s wedding the night before, and that was pretty great. We hardly ever even do cards anymore (we both hate card shopping with a passion and only occasionally plan ahead enough to make each other cards), and for gifts, we usually take a big-ish purchase that we were planning to make anyway and assign it to the closest holiday. This year, our anniversary gift to each other was new patio furniture. For Christmas we might finally treat ourselves to some nice pots and pans. It’s a good system for us.
We did decide after our 5th anniversary cruise, however, that we would try our best to take a cruise every 5 years for our anniversary. So at least the milestone years won’t slip by without “proper” fanfare.